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The resilience equation
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”
The quote above is one of my favourites, it has been attributed to Haruki Murakami.
At school, one of my favourite subjects was mathematics, particularly algebra. I loved solving equations. Later in life I could relate to the equation commonly found in accounting.
ASSET = LIABILITY + EQUITY
Then recently I read an article about Ray Dalio’s equation.
PROGRESS = PAIN + REFLECTION
I see that there is a connection between the two. I am excited, it’s akin to solving simultaneous equations.
I’d like to expand from Ray’s equation and replace progress with resilience, which I think is one of the most important personality traits to lead us to a happy and fulfilling life.
RESILIENCE = PAIN + REFLECTION
Pain is essential, part of life and takes many forms. It can be physical, such as having a toothache or it can be emotional, such as experiencing the loss of a loved one. Pain, however, when combined with reflection, can build up resilience. Reflection equates to equity in the emotional balance sheet.
RESILIENCE - REFLECTION = PAIN
Without reflection, all we have is pain and painful memories.
I'd like now to pay a closer attention to resilience, a word dear to my heart. To do that, let's turn to physics. The word resilience is derived from the science of metallurgy, mainly metal, known to be resistant to being deformed and scratched. Over time the word has been used widely to characterize a tough personality, Stoic, not sensitive. Resilience is when you are stressed and stretched, which is inevitable in life, then it's crucial that you have the capacity to rebound.
And you may become stronger than before if you reflect well on the experience by building up the resilience muscle.
Resilience builds up from childhood right through to the end of life. In a world of helicopter parenting, awards freely given to participation, and loneliness, resilience becomes more relevant everyday in combating mental illness.
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